Who Do I Have to Kill to Pay Off My Student Loan?

Apr 2, 2012

Who Do I Have to Kill to Pay Off My Student Loan?

This post has not been approved by Media Co-op editors!

With tuition set to increase, you might be wondering how to pay back the massive levels of debt you’re bound to incur. The secret to financial success is studying in an area producing graduates that society needs. Nursing? Teaching? Don’t be ridiculous!

 

You can make 120k to start if you major in something socially useful like Drone Studies.

 

The US government needs people to service the unmanned devices it uses to assassinate its enemies overseas. If you’re willing to get a bit of metaphorical blood on your hands, you should have no trouble paying off your student debt. Of course you won’t have to actually deal with the dirty business of killing people face-to-face. It’s really more like a video game where you can easily forget about the real people far away who do the dying.

 

 

David Bernans is a Québec-based author. You can follow him on twitter @dbernans.